After a year and a half of the most painful heart break I have ever experienced over a guy, I have finally gotten to the place in my life where it doesn't hurt anymore, it is only a memory with all the emotions tucked away in a box. Where moving forward seems clearer and does not look like it is full of guilt.
So as this was a big step, and it took a lot of courage, and to be honest I did not even want to date still, I agreed to accompany a guy i've known since middle school.
So here I am, feeling proud that I am planning on going through with it. When all of the sudden, one phone call turned the whole situation around. My future date ended up becoming an mess of emotions with a lot of anger. I spent 8 hours in one night, worrying, getting yelled at, trying to help, comforting, and begging for him not to end his life. Yep, he was suicidal. Well, actually he already was in the process of overdosing from a bunch of pills before he called. So at 2 in the morning he was being rushed to the emergency room to get his stomach pumped. It turned into a manipulation of me having to be with him but also it not being about me.
Obviously, I am not going on that date.
The last time I was on the phone with someone trying to commit suicide, I was 14 and that whole situation got out of control.
I felt like I was 14 again. I was angry for being in that place again but also knew I couldn't give up on him.
But this isn't what this post is mainly about.
I just want to understand why the universe keeps bringing guys in my life the seem great for a day or two then suddenly do a complete 180 and ends in a call of me discovering they are wanking off on the phone saying creepy things.
YET, when I am completely fine on my own with my cat, the universe does everything in its power to throw everything and everybody in a relationship in my way to flaunt it right in front of my face.
Please Universe, please bring me a guy who is at least somewhat normal....or british. Yea, make him british.
